Tu Dhoop Hai

I await the coppery glow of the blood moon, 

It will wear a red hue this time around, and then captivate humankind. 

I cannot explain how this blows my mind , 

Even on days when you are invisible, oh moon. 

A little like being moved to write words for him , who I recently met, whose birthday it is. 

 

I write a little story about this guy who has struck a chord with me.   

Pleasant strum of guitar strings.   

He reminds me of a warm hug on a lazy afternoon.

Of a gentle breeze whispering kind nothings in my ear.

Like the soft rustle of fallen leaves that you dare not crush. 

The vibe makes me smile , like a silly fool. 

And I don't care for being one. 

It's amusing that I'm deeply comforted by the gentleness of an almost stranger. 

A special somebody who is but.. but simply normal in the fickleness of today.

The kind of normal you bump into purely by chance.

And so you want to keep it safe , keep this little something safe. 

Here I am in the dead of tonight, and truth must be told -

Even when its an ungodly hour.

I fear that I am Saying too much, Feeling too much.

Doing too much, Being too much.

Equal measures of eccentric and quiet.

And yet I live by all these things and more.

Unafraid of consequences, unafraid of sharing. 

Continue to profess - typing Nothing and typing Everything.

Boldly addressing an essay to cyberspace. 

Is it just childish gibberish ? 

Please don't answer. 

A slight venture into dangerous emotional territories.

It's that arena , all too familiar - tiptoe in and tiptoe out , trying not to mess up. 

But somehow , and unknowingly , I feel permitted, and hopefully forgiven.

I tell myself it's the careless abandon of being in my forties :)

And .. here he is , on the cusp on a what will be a glorious decade of discovery.

A re-discovery of what's inside of him. 

And I pray that he finds blessings in the rhythms of joy and success. 

And that he nurtures wisdom to embrace the different shapes of success, even when its not ideal.

I tell the skies, hanging on to faith - when the boy is least of all searching , he is bound to find the glow that is his own namesake. 

It's going to be a moment of quiet tribute when that happens. 

Sacred and precious.

Like how his madre tenderly calls him - her moon.  

  

And what if I also said -

On some days I don't want to let you go, I want to extend the yellow mellow feeling a little longer, but I always let it go

For I know I'll return to this state of ease another day. 

I will walk in and wait for you to sweetly say hello. 

The lines in crinkle of your eyes - I appreciate beautiful things. It's genuine , that hello. 

And then I quickly look away. Feeling satisfied with life. 

In my headspace I also carefully prepare myself for the eventuality when nobody returns. 

Not you. Not me. There will be nothing wherever my mellow yellow now resides. 

Because life tends to move on in honour of what is existential bummer - I acknowledge and nod at reality.  

Feelings morph, seasons change. And these words will be read and smiled at, in the future. 

But today - today is for savouring, crazy diamond.

.. Chamm Se Bikhar