When ...

... sleep evades me,

I pray that a song as gentle as this rocks me to sleep.

But Kaavish does not have that effect on me tonight,

So I gaze at an almost blank canvas as melody tinkles in the background.

Until very recently, I could not sleep long stretches into the night. I forgot what deep slumber was all about for several years, and my only comfort lay in the hope that I would not dream of anything disturbing if I did close my eyes long enough to slip into REM. Thankfully the situation is a lot less morbid off late. I have doctors and a few wonderful human beings to thank. I also want to write a tiny note of appreciation to myself for some helpless perseverance. I cannot describe enough but I definitely realize that a tiny seed of adversity has been my antidote all along. 

On nights like these I lay down peacefully and manage to successfully dodge all forms of guilt with much success. I should be working very hard ahead of a predictably insane week, but I am choosing to lie flat on my back, and use a furry pet as my worthy object of distraction. I can hear her purring , my cat Ella. I know I am not alone. And I consider the art of talking to self a gift when I have nothing better to offer my soul, as strange as that sounds. Speaking of strange, I managed to confess my emotions very oddly to a friend and I am now blissfully unaware of what to do next. So I will do nothing. 

May I offer you a picture that is testimony of a calm facade? 

A pair of ducks - Lake Harriet - August 2010

And maybe a song too -

While you sleep you'll see me there 
Clouds race across the sky 
Close your eyes and don't ask why 
And I'll be a blue moon in your eyes